Never Love A Soldier
by Imymadderthanyyou1996
Summary: Edward races of to Afghanistan leaving Bella pregnant and hurt with no one. Two years later Bella has a healthy daughter, Elizabeth. Will Edward come home to his family? Will he be welcomed? AH, NO SMUT
1. You Left Me

I'm trying with this one. I can't promise anything.

Chapter 1 – Never Love A Soldier

"_Bella, I _must_ go!" He bellowed determined. _

"_Edward, no! You'll die!" I cried, tears streaming down my face and landing on my plump belly, hard with the promise of our daughter. _

"_Bella, I need to do this." He warned prying my fingers form his tear stained shirt. I grabbed onto it the second my hands were free, he narrowed his eyes but made no comment. Good, I have a little more time._

"_Edward - I pronounced his name carefully, controlled – do you really want our daughter, _Elizabeth _– I spat the name too angry to be rational – to never know her father? Don't you want to hold her and to read to her?" He stood their, still as stone and eyes as hard as frozen ice. _

"_Answer me!" I screamed and he slowly raised his eyes to meet mine, his chin risen defiantly. I knew in that one moment, I had lost. _

I woke with a start as usual, to Elizabeth rolling restlessly around my stomach. She was two now, two years old to the day next week. This had been the third time I had dreamt the same nightmare, the same memory in a week and I was exhausted. Tired of fighting the images that were embedded in my mind. Tired of trying to control the rage I felt when he left me. And for what? Honour? Edward Anthony Masen had never seen his daughter, photo or otherwise. I wanted him to come back because he wanted too, not because he needed too. I kept Elizabeth away from others because really, it was too painful. Having her come home one day and ask the most dreaded question, What's a 'daddy'? I had never even told her of family, Edward made sure of that. He told me they could never know, or they wouldn't allow him to leave. I went ahead and told them anyway, as soon as he left. Elizabeth was born with our family, the Swans and the Masens united forever.

"Mommy." Lizzie groaned, she had caught my sleep talking trait. She blinked and rolled further onto my stomach, thumb _still_ in her mouth, she swears she doesn't suck it but how does it stay in? I'll need to google that. I liked that I featured in her dreams, but I also knew that Jake did too. She said his name at least once a night sometimes more. He had been the main and only father figure in her life and the only man I had allowed to stay in mine. Many of my male friends had tried to make a move on me once Edward left, knowing full well I was pregnant by him and loved him dearly. Jake also was very handy in that department, he kept any unwanted guys at bay and swatted away any suspicious looking baby-snatcher.

Just then I felt Lizzie stir and I held her on my arms, cradling her there. I had been told by many that it wasn't 'healthy' for me to hold her this much. But, those who really knew me, didn't judge, they knew the real reason why I couldn't let her go, ever. Elizabeth was the only thing I had left of my fiancée, I didn't even know if he was still alive. All I had was this little piece of perfection, lying dozily in my arms.

Elizabeth was the most beautiful child. She had the bronze hair, curly and wavy and the electric green eyes. The chiselled nose and sculpted mouth, not forgetting the pink lips, the exact colour or pink roses or the slight, delicate body. I had never given her a second name, that was Edward's right, or at least until she turned six, she needed a second name at school, but I wanted Edward to decide that, it was his wish. The one thing I allowed him, her middle name. She was my Edward. Elizabeth Masen-Swan.


	2. The Routine You Would Have Had

I cannot believe the response I got for the last chapter, I had a review the day I put it up! I loved that! It made me squee!

Chapter 2 – The Routine you Would Have Had

"Come on monster." I whispered in her ear, she whimpered and curled further into me. I smiled. She never did like mornings. I smiled, knowing I had the perfect weapon.

"Aunty Alice will come and make cupcakes with you." I crooned, within a millisecond she was out of bed and bounding towards the kitchen, while I called Alice.

"Allliiiicccccceeeeee." I said in the sweetest voice I could muster.

"Bella, you never call me at six AM, what do you need?" She asked wide awake.

"Alice, your never up at six AM and who said I needed anything." I chirped knowing she'd take bait.

"What is it?" Hook, line and sinker.

"IreallyneedyoutocomeandcookcupcakeswithLizzie." Wow, begging in one breath, who knew that was possible.

"O.K." She said brightly, too brightly.

"For?" I asked suspiciously.

"A shopping trip in New York." She said it like it was nothing, like I could abandon Lizzie for a day to go shopping. (**Bella moved to New York, she couldn't stand the memories)**.

"Alice you know I can't, who's gonna take care of Lizzie?" I sighed.

"You haven't got her in a nursery yet?" She asked surprised.

"No Alice, I haven't. I don't want her to know what a d-a-d-d-y, is yet." I rubbed my eyes, an unconscious action for when I was stressed.

"You what?!?" She screamed.

"Alice, she doesn't need to know yet, he might be dead Alice. How do I tell her that her own father left her! That a child wasn't enough to keep him?!?" I asked, screaming in rage.

Her response was calm, calculated.

"But when he does come back, Bella, how do you explain that to her? Isn't it better to tell her?" She whispered.

"I don't know." I sighed.

We were silent for a few minutes, thinking.

"Bella, why don't I tell her, today. You know Edward's written." She said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah to her, not to me. He couldn't care less about me." I said spitefully.

"That isn't true Bella." Acid detectable in her usually bright voice.

"Yeah well he's doing a great way of showing it, does he even speak of me? Ask how I am?" I asked knowing the answer. Alice was silent. I took that as confirmation.

"See, he doesn't care that I loved him, needed him. Come over at 10, we'll arrange something then." I said in monotone. Annoyed I hung up and went to find Lizzie. She was sitting with her knees to her chest and a picture frame broken on the floor beside her. It was one I kept so close to my heart. One I always had to hide. Mindless tears escaped my eyes and I sighed in resignation. It was about time Lizzie knew the truth about her father.

**I already have an idea about the next chapter it will be up in 2-4 days. Promise x **


	3. The Love You LostLetters

Chapter 3 – The Love You Lost

Her tear stained face looked up to meet mine and in them I saw confusion, sadness and love. Fresh, hot tears strung down my face as I went to pick her up, she sat in my lap comfortably and I picked up the picture frame, careful not to touch the glass that had broken. I placed it in her hands, she looked at it eagerly. Tracing his perfect features and admiring my smile. It was half an hour before either of us spoke.

"He looks like you." I commented, sick of silence. She nodded, tongue stuck out in concentration. She wasn't done. I gave her another ten minutes before I released it from her hands. She squirmed, trying to reach. I placed it back into her lap watching her frustrated features ease into concentration. She finally looked up at me, big green eyes reeking trust and honesty.

"He's your father." I answered simply.

"What's a father?" She asked, curious.

"You have a mother _and_ a father. A father is a man who got together with your mother (I gestured to myself), and made you." I said matter-of-factly.

"Where is he?" She asked. God, I wished I didn't have to tell her this. Wished I could save her that pain. It wasn't to be. Love could not be separated from hurt. The two came together. People who loved, got hurt. Loving hurts. It was time she knew that.

"War." I used 'the case is closed' tone and she dropped it.

"Is Jake my father?" She asked, head tilting slightly.

"No, he is a friend." I smiled and looked at my watch. It was 9:30. "Come on monster, we can watch a bit of Dora until Alice comes." She squealed and raced into the living room. Cartoons were safe now, she knew what a daddy was. I tried to be relieved. Really, I did. But I couldn't. Knowing that sooner or later she would want to know why he had left her. And I had to be the bearer of bad news! Why not him?

The doorbell went and I rushed to answer it, Lizzie on hip. It was Alice who immediately held both arms out, asking for Lizzie. Lizzie leaped into her arms and giggled. I took the bag of 'goodies' and led them both to the kitchen. While Alice chatted excitedly to Lizzie I wondered idly I she was on caffeine, no person could be this chirpy when awoken early. Could they?

The answer, sadly, is yes. Alice whisked around the kitchen in record time, setting Lizzie to work on the mix. Once she got really into it, Alice led me aside and handed me over fifty envelopes, motioning to the bedroom. Confused I escorted myself there and sat on the bed. Picking the first off the pile. I opened it.

_My Darling Bella,_

_I am so sorry I left you in that way. It wasn't how I wanted us to part, truly. But, put yourself in my shoes. I have always wanted to help my country, and now I can. I was offered a position as Doctor and I accepted it. I am on the front line with all the soldiers. But I don't only help them, I help the locals and those in need of it. I miss you every day and I will come home. I promise you that. All my love, Edward x _

Tearing into the second in a near frenzy I finally got it out and read the second letter.

_My Darling Bella,_

_Why haven't you written? I miss your words of kindness or hope. I miss your witty remarks and sarcasm. I miss your body next to mine, sleeping soundly. I hold your picture in my hand as I sleep and dream of you, always. How is Elizabeth? The due date is tomorrow, I will be home before she is two, I promise. I want to be a father. Being here is hard and lonely, I hate it. I can only come home when my regiment does, though. The time goes so slowly here, I hope it is easier for you, though I doubt it. Bella, write soon. I love you. Edward x_

That was all I needed, I read the most recent one, sent only two days ago.

_My Darling Bella,_

_Life here is hard, but being without you is harder. Alice tells me she is withholding my letters, tells me it would hurt you too much. I am writing to nothing and yet I don't care, I need to tell you my love. I need to know you're heart is mine, as mine is yours. I will be home in one week, I hope that I am welcome. The address is on the back, as always. If Alice gives these to you, write to me darling. I love you, Edward x _

I rummaged through my bedside table and found a pen and paper, I needed him as he needed me. I was angry, yes. But what does that matter when one is hurt, when one is loved? It doesn't.

_My Dearest Edward,_

_My tears are falling as I write this and my heart is burning. I am yours, my dearest. Just as you are mine. Lizzie is two soon, and I hope you keep your promise. She knows who you are, I told her mere hours ago. She looks a lot like you, but she talks in her sleep, like me I guess. She also sucks her thumb, while talking. Yeah, I don't know how it stays in either. You still have the right to her middle name, I would never deny you that. Come back to me, my love. I love you, Bella x. _

I stormed through the kitchen, searching for a stamp. Alice seemed to catch on. She told me they were in the bag and after much searching, they appeared and I went to post my letter. The walk was rainy and I hurried through the rain. As I neared the post-box I held the letter close to my chest and kissed the envelop before setting it into the mass of letters already gathered there. I closed my eyes and hoped it arrived soon.

**Phew, 1000 words! I'm sweating! Love this chapter though, my favourite so far, I think! X **


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